This site is under construction by a third party — the information here may not reflect the real business, its owners, or its clients.
Kate Bergman
LISW-S · M.S.S.A
Let’s Connect

NeuroAffective Relational Model®

NARM® stands for NeuroAffective Relational Model® which is an approach to working with complex developmental trauma. Basically trauma that is not what you would call ‘shock’ trauma, but rather trauma that comes from experiences that you did not have the resources or support to manage at some point in your life. A narcissistic parent, a repeated school experience where maybe you didn’t have support for undiagnosed learning differences, or being bullied as a child are some of the examples of developmental trauma.

Man in a window seat on a rainy afternoon, holding a warm mug

When needs go unmet you develop unconscious strategies to help you psychologically and physiologically navigate difficult situations. These strategies often serve their purpose until they don’t.

To understand this better, imagine that you are in a stormy sea and you are just trying to keep your boat from capsizing. You are keeping constant watch for waves, exerting a lot of energy to maneuver the boat, and perhaps collapsing when you can no longer stay awake. Now imagine that you are exerting the same amount of force and effort but the water around you is totally calm. You might wonder ‘why am I working so hard to just be okay?’ or ‘why can’t I stop always scanning my world to make sure everything is relatively safe?’. This example speaks to what I see a lot of in my office, people who work very hard to feel okay and often feel like they are not okay, whatever that means to you.